Mike and Cassie: Counting Conversations rather than Conversions

I've been interacting a lot lately with Mike, my neighbor next door who is not a follower of Jesus. Mike is between his sophomore and junior years in college and doing an internship for the summer. When he's home visiting his parents we connect and talk.

Many of our recent conversations have drifted into the realm of faith, Christianity and God. I think we've been able to develop enough of a mutual trust with one another to ask pointed questions and listen to one another, resulting in healthy conversations about faith. I'm learning quite a bit from Mike's perspective - and others his age - and he told me recently that our conversations have really made him think about Jesus in new ways. I absolutely love having these conversations.

Mike and I sat on our back patio for about two hours a couple Saturday afternoons ago and he asked some great questions:

Do you think that Jesus ever regretted anything he did?
Do you think that Judas is in heaven or hell?
If alien life was ever proven to exist how might that impact your understanding of the Christian faith?

Another person I love talking with regarding faith is Cassie, a non-Christian who cuts my hair about every three weeks or so. I always request Cassie, even if the wait is longer. It's not because of how she cuts my hair (although she does a fine job) but because we've developed a relationship where trust exists and she opens up a lot regarding faith, religion and God.

In fact, of all the people I know, I learn more from her regarding faith from a non-Christian's perspective and what the culture thinks about the Church than anyone else. She's helped me think through topics we need to address or areas in which we need to be more intentional.

She's honest.

She asks me questions.

It started when I asked her a few questions:
If you could ask God one question what would it be?
What comes to your mind when you think of Jesus?
What comes to your mind when you think of Christians?
What confuses you the most about Jesus?

I find these conversations with Mike and Cassie and others to be so refreshing. Though I haven't asked them outright, I think they come to appreciate the fact that I attempt to listen to them and their views, even if they differ from mine. I am so glad I've been intentional in building relationships with them and I pray that one day they come to faith in the Risen Christ. But I also realize I need to be even more intentional with other people all around me.

Which has made me wonder: How can we be even more intentional in cultivating conversations (not lectures  or monologues) about faith with those far from God?   

Comments

[Stan]

Your ability to listen and care and build that bond of comfort and trust to allow others to think, ask and share is truly a Blessed gift. I struggle sometimes with being overbearing and prophetic in my interactions in every day life and my involvement in counseling. Those stories are a good reminder of the heart of true communications.

[Nathanael]

Time is the biggest factor, and honestly, it's often easier to be bold (ignorant) and have the other party take offense, than it is to spend months, years, decades building a healthy relationship that is mutual in learning.
Dan Kimball posted a great blog about this topic: http://www.dankimball.com/vintage_faith/2007/06/do-some-christi.html

Thanks for reminding us, brother, how much we can learn from those who do not follow Jesus.

[allijack]

love it! thank you for sharing this.

remdinds me of a CGLT retreat session at the powell house when you shared about the importance of asking good questions (and the subsequent listening and understanding, of course)

[Paul Morgun]

And if we believe that Jesus is already at work around and with that person those conversations become even more poignant...I love that idea of conversations...thanks for the post

[J.R.]

Allijack - that CGLT discussion we had regarding asking good questions is something I hope to teach on more often here in PA because I've been doing some more thinking about it. Glad you still remember it.

Paul: thanks for your thoughts. You right - we don't start conversations - that's the role of the Spirit - we simply highlight the conversation(s) that are already existing and highlight elements where God is already at work...thanks for the reminder.

[Stan]

As it is the Spirit that starts conversations, we have to be aware and not lose focus and miss opportunities to let the Spirit work through us. Too often, at least for me, I am not always conscious of how every moment in my life is for a purpose and walk away, from what I feel sometimes is a missed opportunity, feeling I could have said or done something more to make a difference. .I just feel I could be more deliberately intentional in my human interaction so I have been trying a bit harder.
Last week my son and I repaired a part for the boat of a friend of mine. He is far from God and in recent years been through many hardships in life, and distanced himself in our relationship. Maybe I did too. As we drove into his driveway, I said to my son, let us pray that we can make this time and this opportunity for the Glory of God and that He will intercede through our hearts, our minds and our speech. It wasn’t until near the end of our interaction, when my friend told me how the part of the boat that we repaired had saved his life and how he used it to pull himself out of the freezing cold water and would have died. I simply said that God must have a very good reason for you being here. There was a very long pause as he looked at me in deep thought, then he said, “do you really think so?” I think I saw a tear in the corner of his eye.
Well after refusing to take his money for a favor I did for a friend, he said he will repay my son and I with a fishing trip in his boat. I cannot wait to spend an entire day with my friend, and see just what is beyond this door that God has opened.

[Joshua Smith]

I love those kinds of conversations. I grew up in the Christian world all my life, and it is so eye opening listening to my friends from thier perspective.

Sometimes I think they pursue faith more than I do even though I have subscribed to the Christian faith.

peace

[Joshua]

I'm trackin' with you. This is where I'm at. When you seek the conversion you rarely seek the relationship with the person. That's when people begin to be projects and we see them as numbers on our 'salvation mantel.'

Over the past two years I've worked hard to cultivate relationships in the neighborhood I moved into and you know how many 'converts' I've had...none. You know how many people would bend over backwards to help me out...plenty.

I'm weary of trying to win people to a decision. They can make that in their own time. I'm taking the cup of cold water to heart. I'm throwing out judgmentalism and treating them like I want to be treated...like a person. That's my burden for the church really, is that we start seeing people instead of projects.

[Jim Henderson]

Jesus had 132 contacts - 10 of them were in the temple or synagogue - 122 were out in public with ordinary people.

Jesus was a conversationalist who periodically interrupted his visits with longer talks (aka sermons)

St Patrick planted 700 churches chatting with people

for more on this check out
www.offthemap.com
www.akalost.com